Gossip, Crimes and Sexy Times
by UpperEastsideGossipGirl
Summary: A sexy hot, fashion-forward Gossip Girl fanfic starring all your favorite characters from the show!


**Mmm a Gossip Girl FanFic! Enjoy :] **

The model-tall platinum blonde Serena Van der Woodsen flipped open her red Sidekick LX and glanced at the called I.D. Blair. Again. She rolled her big navy blue eyes, rimmed with Mac mascara, and said slowly, "Yessss, Blair?" It was the fifteenth time Blair Waldorf had called her that day.

"Serena! Ohmygod, finally!" she heard Blair screech.

"What is it, Blair?"

"Nate called me again today, I don't know if I should just ignore him, or tell him subtly to get the fuck out of my life, help!" Blair said in a rush of garbled words.

Serena sighed. Nate. Chuck. Blair. Jenny. Dan. It seemed like everyone in freaking New York was relying on her for help today. It was tiring. Nate wanted Blair advice, which was typical. Chuck also wanted Blair advice, newly typical. Jenny wanted fashion help, obviously she would called Serena. And Dan wanted to get in her pants, what else was new?

"Blair, just slow down and meet me at my apartment in ten okay?" Serena looked at her Tiffany silver watch, 4:32pm. She'd have time to soothe her best friend into a calmer state and still make it to the dinner Dan was insisting she attend with him.

Blair squeaked out an, "okay!" and hung up.

Speed-walking as quickly as she could in her burgundy Christian Louboutin pumps, Serena hailed a cab and muttered her town house address. Once she'd arrived, she was surprised to see Blair already sitting on the front steps waiting. Blair looked up, her hazel brown eyes catching the dimming light and glimmering in a devious way. She was wearing a Gucci light blue wrap dress, a silk white Hermes scarf and silver Chanel flats, along with the huge white Louis Vuitton tote that was practically weighing her down. Serena thought she looked overdressed for a Saturday afternoon.

"Oh, there you are! Okay good, we need to do some damage control," Blair explained to Serena, tugging her inside by her denim Dolce & Gabbana jacket.

"Blair, what is this all about? Nate problems _again_?"

"Ugh, well..yeah. He obviously just can't accept the fact that Chuck and I are together, and he's acting immaturely about it!" Blair said, bounding up the stairs to Serena's spacious room and grabbing a bottle of Cristalle from the bar on her way.

Serena kicked off her heavy shoes and followed her petite friend, taking two flute glasses with her so they wouldn't have to drink out of the bottle. "What'd he do this time, B?" she said tiredly, sick already of Blair's endless stories of Nate's neediness and treachery.

Blair turned toward Serena, and took out her sleek black iPhone, "this. This is what he did. I think he sent it to Gossip Girl," she said, holding the phone out into visible light.

The picture on the screen was of a girl, with long wavy brown hair straddling a handsome, snobby looking guy about their age. Their clothes were almost all completely off, except for the black lace thong on the girl and the Burberry boxers on the guy. It was definitely a risque photograph.

Then Serena realized the girl was Blair. The same Blair who was sitting on her bed and pretending to pick lint fuzz off her bedspread. And the guy was Chuck Bass, Blair's boyfriend and the richest guy to inhabit the Upper Eastside.

"How did Nate get this?" Serena said calmly, popping open the Cristalle and swiftly dumping it into the two glasses. Blair grabbed hers and began chugging it like there was no tomorrow.

"I don't know!" she burst out, "but he still does have my spare key to my room at the Plaza.." she said, now realizing how Nate had caught her and Chuck's moment of passion, "fuck!"

Serena sipped her alcohol, contemplating this debacle. They could deny the girl was Blair, and fake a story that Chuck was cheating. Or..they could retaliate and somehow get Nate back, in a much worse way.

"Blair, where's Chuck, does he know about this yet?"

Blair looked up just as the Van der Woodsen's front doorbell rang, "oh, that's probably him, I told him I was here."

Then the figure of Chuck Bass materialized in front of the two girls. He was in a fitted Lacoste polo, light khakis and Armani loafers.

"Hello ladies," Chuck greeted them, slapping Serena on the ass while making his way over to Blair. He cupped her chin up and planted a kiss on her eagerly parted lips, Serena looked away in disgust.

Once they were done swapping spit, Serena turned around, "Really? You guys come on get a room. Chuck, have you seen the picture yet?" she held out Blair's phone.

Chuck smirked that oh-so-sexy grin that made girls melt and said cooly, "Of course i've seen the picture, hasn't everyone?" Blair frowned when she heard this.

"E-Everyone?" she said quietly.

"It's on Gossip Girl isn't it? Besides, you look smoking hot, so don't worry," Chuck reassured her, pulling Blair into his lap.

Serena's expertly waxed brows were knit together in a grimace. "Oh shut up Chuck, it is not okay. Blair's topless for everyone to see, and it's not just something to brush off."

"Calm down, step sister," Chuck said, taking Blair's flute of Cristalle and taking a gulp, "now I'm the envy of every guy at St. Jude's." he smiled.

Serena was pissed. "Well I'm going to protect my best friends dignity and get Nate back," she decided for herself, flipping that blonde mane of hers haughtily.

Chuck sneered, "Good luck with that, Van der Woodsen. C'mon babe lets go, I can see we're done here," he said, cupping Blair's ass as they stood up to leave.

Blair hugged Serena and kissed her cheeks, "Thanks S, I knew you'd always have my back," tugging back on her Chanel flats, Blair and Chuck left the apartment.

Serena stared at her reflection in her floor-length mirror. She knew what could devastate Nathaniel Archibald, and she was going to do it. But first she had to go to that boring dinner with Dan Humphrey, so she flung on her Louboutin's, and a red Diane Von Furstenburg tulle dress. She mussed her hair, and smudged black khol around her eyes. A slick of pink lipgloss and a squirt of Chanel No. 19 and she was ready to go. On her way downstairs she texted Nate, "meet me at The Frenchman tonight at 9". _Here goes nothing!_ She thought to herself.

***

Upon arriving at The Frenchman bar and grill, Serena spotted Dan easily out of the crowd. He looked so pitifully out of place. He caught her eye and walked towards her. She mustered a pained smile.

"Hey you," he said, nuzzling her neck and trying to kiss her. Serena shifted her face so his lips caught her cheek instead. No more Dan Humphrey, she needed to rid herself of him so the Nate plan could be successful. Dan looked confused as to why she wasn't slobbering all over him, but Serena played it cool and led him over to the bar. She ordered a bloody mary and turned to face him.

"Listen, Dan. I think we need to, you know, take a little break." she said, trying to get tears to glisten in her eyes so everything she was saying seemed real and not completely bogus, even though it totally was.

His chocolate brown eyes widened, "wait, are you dumping me?" he got slack-jawed and tried to conceal the utter disappointment.

Serena kind of felt bad, but not really, "sorry sweetie, I just don't wanna be tied down right now," she trailed off convincingly, weaving her fingers in and out of her golden locks in a gesture she though looked innocent, but to Dan it looked way hot.

Dan tried to slip his skinny arms around her waist and pull her closer, but Serena pulled away, unhooking herself from his rather weak grip. He wasn't even a man, just a sad journalist boy. Serena had to break things off for the sake of her best friend, for the sake of _herself_. She raised her manicured hand and waved as she mouthed 'bye' and walked towards the back of the bar, to just get away and clear her head from Dan. In the ladies' room she re-glossed her full, pouty lips and scrunched her hair, looking like her usual goddess-like self.

She returned to the restaurant, noticing it was almost nine o'clock. Nate was supposed to be here soon, so where the fuck was he? Serena scanned the area, happy that Dan had left so he wouldn't have to witness what she was about to do.

A warm, tan hand grazed her lower back, "Serena, hey," a vaguely husky, familiar voice said quietly in her ear. She whirled around to face Nate Archibald in all his glory. He was fucking _hot_. That tan, chiseled body, including a six pack, of course. The prominent jaw and bright, celery-green eyes with the dirty blonde shaggy hair. Serena knew he was every girl in New York's dream guy, their prince charming, but she could look past all that. They had history, she knew who he really was inside and out.

Serena lowered her lashes, and pasted on her 100-watt smile, exposing all of her straight, white teeth (well, veneers really, but shh!). "Nate! Hey!" she said, with mock enthusiasm. He reached out to hug her and she leapt into his arms, making sure their bodies were touching in every possible spot.

He seemed caught off guard for only a moment, that his good friend Serena was starting the night off acting like such a shameless flirt. But he regained his composure in .5 seconds, she was the hottest senior to graduate from Constance Billard, and even she couldn't phase him.

Nate made sure he flexed his abs as their embrace trailed off, knowing that she felt every ripped muscle he had spent hours on the lacrosse field obtaining. If she was going to play like this, so was he.

Serena gazed into those green eyes, "so, how've you been lately?" she said in a quiet, hushed tone, seeming a little caught off guard herself, not expecting him to play along so quickly. But she was ready for him. She was doing this for Blair, no one else.

Nate smiled down at her, "Well, now I'm definitely better," he said flirtatiously, nudging her body closer to his.

Serena was tired of beating around the bush. "C'mon, let's get out of here already!" she grabbed him by the button-down shirt and dashed outside into the back parking lot by the waitstaff lounge of the restaurant. Who's restaurant has a lounge for their waiters, hostesses, and bartenders? The Frenchman does.

Nate ran after Serena, a bit confused as to what she was up to. She undid the straps of her red dress and let them sag to her shoulders, "come get me, Nathaniel!" she giggled, running right into the lounge. Luckily, there was no one inside the tiny, dimly lit room. It was quaint, but still elegant, just like The Frenchman. It had one large bathroom, and a main sitting area with three suede couches, a plush loveseat and two large chairs around a coffee table. She dove onto the loveseat, pulling her legs up around her and fluffing out her hair.

Nate entered the room behind her, "Serena, what the fu-" he stopped mid-sentence as he stared at her. She had slipped completely out of her dress, and was now only wearing her Louboutin's and pink Cosabella lingerie. It was her demi-cup bra and thong set, the one that she'd picked up at Barney's just last week. He slowly approached her, breathing more heavily now.

"I want you, Nate Archibald," Serena said dramatically, getting really into her character..or just really getting into it. She unfolded her long, thin legs and stood up to meet him halfway.

Nates eye's were searching hers for some explanation, but she wasn't going to give him one. "Serena, are you sure about this? What about Dan?"

"Fuck Dan, we're not together anymore" Serena replied, snaking her arms through the button holes of his shirt and ripping it off of him, exposing those amazing abs that she trailed her hands down.

"Mm, Serena, really? Do you really want this?" he said, now breathing heavier as her hands reached his pants zipper, and she slowly unzipped it, then unbuckling his belt and whipping it to the floor.

"Yes, Nate, yes!" she said, irritated he was still questioning what was going on.

He pulled her onto the loveseat next to him, and she kicked off her Louboutin heels. He leaned his neck up and landed his full lips right on hers, kissing her with so much intensity, Serena forgot for an instant she was hooking up with Nate for revenge. She reacted to his kiss, grasping the back of his neck, pulling him closer and swirling her tongue around his as he played with hers. Serena pulled away and sucked on his neck, moving her lips up and down and pulling with her tongue until a nice, purple-y red hickey appeared and Nate moaned for more. He unclasped her pink bra and let it fall to the floor, reveling at the sight of her quite large chest. She now too was gasping and kissing him feverishly. He groped her chest, moving down along her flat stomach until he reached her hips, reaching to take off the thong now. At the same time she moved her hands to his waist and snatched off his Ralph Lauren boxers. Both completely nude, they fell onto each other, kissing, sucking and exploring each others bodies.

"Mmph, Nate, get a condom out,_ now_!" Serena gasped, feeling his huge hard on in her hands, rubbing against her upper thigh, ready for action..literally.

"Damnit Serena, here hurry get it on," he panted, shoving his tongue back down her throat, enveloping his mouth with hers, running his fingers wildly through her hair.

Serena expertly rolled the condom onto his dick with her mouth and crawled on top of him, letting him slide inside her with no pain at all, just insane pleasure. She thought she'd pass out. He thrust his hips and in no time they were in total sync, reaching their climax level at the same time. Nate grabbed her ass and she dug her fingernails into his muscled back and shoulders, both of them calling out for more and panting like crazed animals. They orgasmed together, both falling onto the floor from such passion and yelling out each other's names with each wave of pleasure.

Tired from so much good sex, Nate and Serena fell asleep on the floor of The Frenchman waitstaff lounge, the only thing covering them was Serena's red dress and Nate's long sleeved shirt.

***

The light streaming in from a window woke Serena Van der Woodsen up the next morning.

"Oh. Shit." she muttered when she saw Nate's bare body next to hers, and their clothes scattered everywhere. Now the night was slowly coming back to her. She'd slept with Nate for Blair, weird as it sounds.

He was her ex-boyfriend. She was his and her friend, but her a bit more. They'd had rough, naughty sex in a restaurant lounge and it was the morning after. Serena quietly got up and stumbled into her clothes. She stared at her reflection in the vanity and tried fixing her messed up hair and smeared makeup. Whatever, she still looked hot even in the morning.

Serena knew she didn't love Nate, and they would never be 'together', but it was still fun messing with his mind. She wiped on some dark red lipstick, and kissed his tan cheek, leaving the red imprint of her lips behind.

"You know you love me, Nathaniel Archibald," Serena whispered, strapping on her shoes, grabbing her purse and silently leaving the lounge.

She was Serena Van der Woodsen, envied throughout all of Upper Eastside Manhattan, she would fuck a boy if it could help her best friend. Serena would seduce Nate and make him wish he was with her all the time, every day.

He would fall for her, and then she would drop him like last week's Prada bag. She would break his poor little heart. Because when you mess with the people who run with Serena Van der Woodsen, you're basically looking for a battle. Her newest target of destruction? Mr. Nate Archibald. And she would win, she always won. Except for maybe this time there would be two winners to this war...

**Who wants to read chapter two and find out what happpens next?! Leave a review with your opinions, and it'll be uploaded sooon! :] **


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